Otherwise-intelligent people who don't know
any better think you have one of the cushiest jobs in the world. After all, as
a restaurant operator, all you do is take an order, cook some food, and rake in
the dough. No brainer, right? If they only knew the reality of your business.
The same people think I have one of the
cushiest jobs in the world. As a restaurant consultant and critic I get paid to
eat and later write about the experience. If they only knew the reality of my
business.
But maybe I can do you some good. Let's look
at restaurants from the perspective of a working food critic. Wherever I go -
small, mom-and-pop ethnic restaurants, national chains, high-priced spreads,
the trendy and the posh, all I want is my money's worth. I expect good food
properly prepared, prices in line with the decor, and an efficient, congenial,
but not patronizing staff doing its best to assure return business. That's
really not much to ask. Yet, many restaurants I visit fail to meet these basic
criteria.
I agree that finding good help is difficult,
but successful restaurateurs know how to train staff, and offer enough
inducements to keep their best people. Yet another pervasive problem I
encounter is the way in which some managers show contempt: serving a shoddy
product but expecting the customers not to notice. Believe me, people may be
reluctant to complain, but don't think they're stupid.
They won't return if not
treated with respect. We both know that some customers can be abusive, noisy
and inconsiderate, but most are not. Accordingly, why not give everyone the
benefit of the doubt?
More often than I care to remember, waiters
or managers have placed me on the defensive when I've tried to return something
that clearly wasn't right. It's bad enough to be served a $34 veal chop with
all the flavor and texture of a '49 Buick, but should I have to hire F. Lee
Bailey or Rambo first if I want to return it? (That joint closed a few months later,
incidentally.)
I'm always more forgiving toward a place
that willingly makes up for a kitchen miscue than one that fights with its
customers. In another time and place: after returning from the kitchen with a
leathery chicken breast I refused to eat, a waiter said to me, "The chef
stands by it and will not make you another one." When I wrote of this
exchange in my review, the chef phoned to say, "If I knew it was you, I
would have handled it differently." His remark was indefensible, and an
insult to anyone who enters his door.
Odds are that people will have a better meal
wherever the owner is routinely on-site rather than elsewhere (the previous two
examples being exceptions). Too often, owners walk away from the mother ship
after it becomes somewhat prosperous; leaving it in the hands of a manager who
has no vested interest in the business. In this business, however, you're only
as good as your last meal. If you yourselves aren't there to keep an eye on
things, you've got a problem. Believe me, a little hubris goes a long way
towards Chapter Eleven.
It's my job and passion to visit all kinds
of restaurants. My clients and readers are not as fortunate and have to choose
carefully if they want the best for their money.
Do I have the desire or power
to shut down a place? Of course not. Nobody does -- except the customer who
goes away feeling ill-treated and subsequently tells 50 of his best friends
about it. Herewith is the advice I give them. If they start following it en
masse, a bunch of places where I've been in the past month will soon post
"For Rent" signs on the door. If you look at your operation from
their perspective, business should improve.
1. If you haven't been treated fairly, tell
the management immediately. It's the only way they know there's a problem. They
should respond favorably because they need you more than you need them.
2. Judge a place it strictly on its own
merits. For example, a friend complained about the time it took to get his meal
in a soul-food restaurant. So what? For a ton of fresh, delicious, homemade
vittles for $7.95, who cares? But it's a crime if you're paying five times that
price.
3. If you don't get exactly what you ask
for, send it back without delay. Waiting till something is half-eaten before
returning it is an early-bird strategy that destroys your credibility.
4. Avoid restaurants where the staff says,
"Hi, my name is Scooter, I'm from Ashtabula,
Ohio and I'll be your server
tonight."
5. Patronize individual and family-owned
restaurants. More than places that rely on volume, their repeat business
depends upon high quality, carefully prepared food and personal service. If the
owner doesn't care enough to be on hand, neither should you.
6. Just because a restaurant has been in
business forever doesn't necessarily mean it's good. Many people patronize such
places out of habit, because it's convenient or because they don't know any
better.
7. If you go to a chain restaurant, remember
that controlled portions are based on actuarial figures that say a six-foot man
should weigh 150 pounds. Most likely, your meal was prepared in a commissary
halfway across the country, delivered frozen and subsequently microwaved into
submission.
8. Don't expect good food at restaurants
with a dazzling waterfront view. It's axiomatic that such places don't feel any
need to serve good food. Sure enough, they don't!
